Sage Reflections: Janany Jayanthikumar
"Trust Your Truth"
Just before the 40-minute mark, Janany Jayanthikumar makes an earth-shattering confession: she was a victim of unspeakable childhood trauma. It sucked the oxygen right out of our recording studio—and it dramatically changed the course of our conversation for the better. What followed is a beautiful, heart-wrenching, and profoundly motivating dialogue between two adults striving to honour the indomitable spirits of their inner children and use them as compasses for creating hopeful futures.
When we met in Whistler, BC, this past February, Janany and I immediately clicked. We randomly sat beside each other at the opening ceremony of a retreat, and within five minutes, we were speaking the language of wounds and wisdom—shame, dissociation, lost memories, childhood trauma, the parts of us we hide, the voices we silence to survive, and the unseen architecture of attachment styles. We talked about what it means to grow up not feeling safe, and how that shapes how we live, how we lead, and how we love.
At the time, I was still playing with the concept of Sage Advice and had only a loose understanding of the show’s narrative arc. I had my opening guest planned and my closing guest planned—but the middle was still up in the air. By the end of that conversation, I invited Janany to be a guest on the spot. She agreed.
Sometimes, you’ve just got to trust your truth.
1. Enduring Wisdom
“What happened is leading to purpose.” - Gabrielle Bernstein
The first 40 minutes of our episode are a slow burn. From the opening exchanges, it’s clear that we’re both on a healing journey. We talk about pain, childhood, attachment theory—and all the while, there’s a gnawing sense that something deeper is trying to claw its way into the conversation.
As the dialogue shifts into purpose, it arrives: Janany shares a disturbing disclosure of childhood abuse, and you can see me visibly shaken. After recording—and right through the release of the episode—Janany and I exchanged texts and voice notes, checking in on each other to make sure we were okay with putting this out in raw form. I’m glad we did. The response was transformative and healing—not just for others, but especially for us.
What came into sharp focus was what Janany regards as enduring wisdom from one of her sages, Gabrielle Bernstein:
“What happened is leading to purpose.”
She explains, “Our pain really gives us purpose, and oftentimes we find ourselves down these paths, even if we're not aware of it.”
Naming your pain is half the battle.
2. Unsettled Wisdom
“You are the creator of your world.” - Janany Jayanthikumar
The Hina Khan coaching program, I’ll admit, seemed a bit woo-woo to me at first. I’m not a part of it—although at this point, I feel like an honorary member. My wife, Bailey Parnell (and Episode 4 guest), is enrolled in it. And in our tiny apartment, I’d sometimes overhear the sessions and think, “This is really out there.” They spoke of manifestation, divine alignment, the power of the universe—concepts that, while intuitive and appealing, felt like a stretch to someone like me who craves scientific certainty.
Then I went to Whistler.
What I realized quickly was that this group of disembodied voices on Bailey’s calls were not who I had imagined. These were extremely high-functioning women: founders, executives, coaches, scientists, doctors—women at the top of their game. And they all subscribed to a shared belief, what Janany offered as her unsettled wisdom.
One of my favourite things about this segment of the show is seeing how each guest engages with it. Dr. Samra Zafar offered hers—“Everything happens for a reason”—and then vehemently disagreed with it. Dr. Deena Shaffer offered—“Live life as if everything is rigged in your favour”—then confessed she simply wants it to be true. Janany offered hers and admitted she is moving in that direction.
3. Legacy Wisdom
“Trust your truth.” - Janany Jayanthikumar
By the end of the episode, Janany takes us home with these words: “Trust your truth.”
The horror she experienced in childhood had been repressed by her inner child. But over the course of her life, it resurfaced—in both innocuous and debilitating ways.
“You always knew the truth,” Janany says. “You just had to protect yourself from it in those early years.”
4. Quotable Wisdom
Some sage gems from Episode 3 worth revisiting:
“Trauma is trauma. Whether you have been abused—physically, sexually, emotionally—whether you've experienced war, or lost a parent... trauma is trauma.” — Janany Jayanthikumar
“Maybe my entire life is a big trauma response.” — Hamza Khan
“I’m here to give voice to that little girl in me who could not speak up.” — Janany Jayanthikumar
“The world wants to shrink you, but don’t shrink.” — Janany Jayanthikumar
“Healing is slow work. And we may never heal in one generation—but we can begin to loosen the grip.” — Hamza Khan
5. Emerging Wisdom
“Our minds have so much power in creating the world that we live in.” - Janany Jayanthikumar
You can see—and hear—that I get giddy when Janany mentions quantum physics, a topic I shamelessly research for fun. My intuitive understanding is that the fundamental building blocks of the universe—like electrons and photons—behave in ways that are strange and counterintuitive to our everyday experiences. In other words, the universe’s default is a state of flux.
Once you meditate on that, you begin to realize: you are the creator of your world.
As Janany says, “Our minds have so much power in creating the world that we live in.”
The question becomes: how do we begin to integrate that into our daily lives?
Thank you for tuning in to Episode 3 of Sage Advice. These are heavy, spirited, and sometimes jarring conversations, designed to leave you with a cornucopia of gems. And if your viewing or listening experience was anything like mine, I trust you’ll be carrying Janany’s sage advice with you for the rest of your life.
Sage Advice is available on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcasts. Please like, subscribe, share, and leave a review. When you’re ready, check out my reflections on Bailey Parnell’s episode—and gear up for a new one this Sunday.
Stay hopeful.